The Faculty
by i-am-zero-i-dig-holes
Summary: I've been searching for this for ages and couldn't find it so I'm makin' my own! It's 'The Faculty' meets 'Hogwarts' crossover!
1. The Faculty

The Faculty  
  
When the Faculty at Hogwarts starts acting strange what can Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Ginny and the new girl, Valerie (me!) do? Well you gotta save the world! It's like the Faculty except there'll be really weird twists. And I'm not the alien. And I'm going to tell a lie in the notes so see if you can figure it out before the end. Or else. Okay and I gotta make character/character connections so here they are:  
  
Zeke/Ron Casey/Draco Stokely/Ginny Delilah/Hermione Marybeth/Valerie Stan/Harry Gabe/Seamus Mr. Furlong/Dumbledore(he's not the headmaster in this one k?) Principal Drake/McGonagall Coach/Snape(oooo-Snape teaching Quidditch!) Ms. Burke/Trelawny Nurse Harper/Madam pomfrey Mr Tate/Sirius(he's free)  
  
Here it comes(trying to make it like a movie so ill use movie tactics)  
  
Prologue Snape is in his office, grading papers when the door creaks open. He curses and mutters something about Peeves. He walks out into the hall, expecting Peeves but no one is there. He sees a shadow in the flickering candlelight and turns around.  
  
Snape: Can I help you?  
  
Snape is attacked and you hear a lot of scuffling. Then, nothing. Snape straightens up, adjusts his robes and walks back into the office. He blows the guttering candle out and everything goes black.  
  
The Faculty  
  
Professors McGonagall, Black, Trelawney and Vector are talking.  
  
McGonagall: I'm sorry, Sirius, but we cannot get an extension on the school- it is just too much money.  
  
Black: But.  
  
McGonagall: No. And Professor Trewlawny we can't afford to send any of the students to America.  
  
Trelawney: Why not?  
  
McGonagall: First, of all- don't whine at me and second, we don't have enough money. And Professor Vector. We cannot perform the magical musical this year. I'm sorry.  
  
Vector: I'll bet the Quidditch team gets what they need though.  
  
McGonagall: This conversation is at an end. Sirius, Rena(Trelawney), Tauros(Vector).  
  
She leaves. Sirius, Rena and Tauros all complain about how they need to not pay so much attention to "that damn Quidditch team"  
  
Sirius: Goodnight Rena, Tauros.  
  
Rena and Tauros: Goodnight Sirius.  
  
They all leave. 


	2. The Students

The Students  
  
You see a set of double doors. They burst open and Ron is standing there. The frame freezes for a second while the name "Ron" is displayed on the bottom. Ron walks to his seat at the Gryffindor table.  
  
The shot goes to a different scene- Draco walks down the hall and Seamus trips him. Mid fall the scene freezes and "Draco" is displayed on the screen. The scene focuses on a gothic girl with bright red hair and a book labeled 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'.  
  
Ginny: Tough luck, Draco.  
  
The frame freezes and "Ginny" is displayed on the screen. She notices a first year getting beat up by some fifth years and smirks. Not paying attention, she walks straight into Harry. Harry tries to help her up but she knocks his hand away and gets up herself. Then, she punches Harry in the gut. Screen freeze- "Harry" is displayed.  
  
Ginny: Asshole.  
  
Harry: You ran into me, dipwad.  
  
Harry catches his breath and walks across to Hermione, who is organizing the cheerleading uniform for the new squad.  
  
Hermione: Okay for our first game we are going to go for preppy. Nothing stupid like curls or teasing just ponytails. Got that?  
  
Mona: But-  
  
Hermione: (threateningly)Do you got it?  
  
Mona nods in fear at Hermione.  
  
Hermione: Good. Hello Harry.  
  
Harry tries to kiss her and she pushes him away.  
  
Hermione: Uh-uh baby- this takes 90 minutes to put on because it's resistant to magic.  
  
Freeze- "Hermione" flashes across the bottom of the screen.  
  
Harry: Sorrry- Listen, I got talk to you 'Mione.  
  
Flashes back to the hallway. Draco is getting seriously pulverized by some seventh years who are stronger than him. A brunette rushes over and, in a futile effort, begs them to stop. Screen freeze. "Valerie" appears on the bottom of the screen. The boys knock Draco unconscious and leave. Valerie kneels down beside him and tries to wake him up.  
  
Valerie: Are you alright?  
  
Draco: What? Who're you?  
  
Valerie: I'm Valerie June McKandless. It's my first day here.  
  
Draco: It's the middle of the year.  
  
Later, we see Draco in the bathroom fixing his bloody nose. The bell rings.  
  
Draco: Fuck.  
  
He rushes out of the bathroom and Valerie is there, looking worried.  
  
Draco: (under his breath)Damn.  
  
In the Infirmary, Madam Pomfrey is bandaging up a teacher's hand.  
  
Pomfrey: Please remember Rubeus that one, breeding new species is forbidden and two anything that you like will probably have teeth, thus being able to bite you! (sneezes) Damn, now I have to clean it out again.  
  
Hagrid: Sorry, Poppy. How's your cold. (breathes in sharply as Pomfrey puts alcohol on the wound)  
  
Pomfrey: Just fine thank you.  
  
Hagrid: Thanks for fixin' my hand Poppy.  
  
Pomfrey: No problem Rubeus, just don't do it again!  
  
An: I'm not in a very good mood today so this might suck. When I go back to read it in a few weeks I might change it but until then I really don't give a fuck. 


End file.
